It's Not Normal, But It's Ours

Family is one of the most complicated subjects that we are confronted with in life and one that has puzzled people, authors, philosophers throughout the ages. Shakespeare demonstrated the heavy struggles of family loyalty and duty in Romeo and Juliet. Leave It To Beaver demonstrated the squeaky-clean, "American" ideal image of family, one that has been stuck to our conscious as though applied with glue. 

We've been rather conditioned to think of the ideal family as a mom, dad, a couple of tots and perhaps a dog. I often think of the show Growing Pains where there was the working dad, the stay at home mom (for many years and yes eventually she went to work), two brothers and two sisters. Yes, the family was not without our typical every day issues, but there was a level of societal perfection to it that so many of us do not boast. And guess what: it's ok.

So what if your family does not have the a-typical 4 Bedroom, 2.5 bath house with (Mom + Dad = pre-determined amount of babies)...that feels way too much like an algebra problem and not real life. Real life is better shown in shows like today's Modern Family, but of course, THE best, the most real, the most raw was given to us by the Golden Girls. (If this comes as any surprise to you, you may want to go back a few posts and catch up.)

Each one of the girls have their own demonstrations that family is not what always the ideal Leave It To Beaver structure we've been taught to believe in; Blanche is nearly disowned from her family because of her pride when she refuses to go to her father's funeral; Rose has a sister who is wickedly manipulative to the point where she attempts to ostracize her from her friends; Sophia was not married to the most handsome, clever, or smart man in the village, but her late-husband  Sal loved her with all of his heart and that was all she needed; and then there's Dorothy's brother Phil. Oh, Phil. Where to begin? 

Let's start with Dorothy, or more formally, Dorothea Petrillo, daughter of immigrants Salvador and Sophia Petrillo, mother of Michael and Kate, sister of Phil, and former wife of Stanley Zbornak, "first class yutz." Her family demonstrates the a-typical American family, and no, not the televised American family, the REAL American family. Maybe not your own, but I can almost guarantee that among your friends, your relatives, neighbors or colleagues, there's more than a few like this one. Each member of Dorothy's family could compose an entire chapter on the ins-and-outs representing American life, Stan could be a book to himself, but we're going to focus on her little brother Phil and we'll start with his death.

At the beginning of the episode, we learn that the girls are preparing to go to Phil's funeral. The girls are obviously very sad, but we are almost instantly reminded of a hobby of Phil's that had been mentioned on numerous occasions about the character throughout the show, though we never actually get to meet Phil: he's a cross dresser and he happened to die of a heart attack while trying on evening gowns. 

Sophia comes out into the living room and in her mourning clothes, asks of the girls:

"Dorothy, I never understood why your brother liked to wear women's clothes, unless he was queer."

Blanche respectfully replies, "Sophia, people don't say queer any more, they say gay."

To which Sophia corrects, "They say gay if a guy can sing the entire score of GiGi. But a six-foot-three, two hundred pound married man with kids who likes to dress up like Dorothy Lamore I think you have to go with queer."

Phil is an extraordinarily unique character within the show. It's easy to assume that a man who wears women's clothes and watches Gladiator movies has a penchant to be gay, BUT, he wasn't. Blanche is the character who ends up having a gay brother, but Dorothy's brother is simply different and the whole conversation of Phil throughout the series sheds light on the fact that it's ok to be different and to have a family member who is different. Regardless if the members of our family are different or "normal", we love them anyway. This question though of why someone is different and how they came to their choices is difficult for some of us to accept. Sophia demonstrates the questioning of "what did I do wrong" a parent may feel if their child doesn't quite meet that ideal image that they create for their babe. Parents create this ideal image of what their baby's life should be and when their child's reality is different from their parents' dreams, that can be a difficult concept to accept. Some parents do and that is wonderful, but some resent the fact that their child's dreams are different from their own. We see this later point with Sophia. She goes DECADES without stepping foot in her son's home because she alleges to resent Phil's wife, Sally, when in reality she is resentful to the fact that her baby boy's hobby was drastically different from her ideal image and she fears that people blame her for Phil's being different. Dorothy goes to wits end trying to play peacebuilder to her mother and sister-in-law. Dorothy loved her brother unconditionally regardless of his differences - he was her brother and that was all that mattered.

Eventually, Rose becomes moderator between the clashing Titans, Phil's surviving wife and Sophia. Rose asks Sophia why she is so upset at Sally. To which Sophia replies, "The dress thing, why didn't she stop the dress thing?" 

Sally defends herself that Phil's cross dressing didn't start with her and Sophia immediately responds, "Oh, so it was my fault?"

Rose asks, "Are you worried that people will think it's your fault, Sophia?" In a backwards way, Sophia admits that yes, she was concerned by this. Rose establishes that Phil was a good provider, overall, a good human being. Rose then proceeds to go into a St. Olaf story, most of which I'll spare you from, but she ends with, "It was shame that kept Aunt Katrina from loving slow Ingmar and it ruined her life. So what if he was different? It's ok that you loved him."

Realizing her folly, Sophia says, "I did love him. He was my son. My little boy. But every time I saw him I always wondered what I did, what I said, when was the day that I did whatever I did to make him the way he was."

Sally stands and says, "What he was, Sophia, was a good man."

Falling a part, strong Sophia cries, "My baby is gone."

It's an extremely intense scene; a mother realizing that she didn't show her boy all of her love because she was ashamed and scared that she would be judged for his decisions. In an earlier scene, Dorothy gives the eulogy at her brother's funeral and the dialogue is worth reading because it demonstrates the importance the absolute importance of loving and appreciating every moment we have with our loved ones because we don't know when they will be taken away: 

"Seems like I'm always mad at my brother Phil. I was mad the day my parents brought him back from the hospital; I thought he'd take their love away from me, and instead their love expanded and we felt ore like a family. I was mad at him when I was ten and he was four and we moved to a new neighborhood; I was mad because he always made new friends more easily than I did. And I'm mad today because I never wanted to give the eulogy at my kid brother's funeral. I'm mad because he died he didn't have the wisdom to know that family members shouldn't allow themselves to grow apart because when this day comes they can no longer tell each other how they care. If he had that wisdom he could have shared that with me and I would have of just the two of us eating ice cream on the stoop of our building, going through the drawers of grandma's house, or dressing up like the Bronte sisters. How those memories fill me with joy. Why didn't you have that wisdom fill, why didn't you give us a chance to tell you how much we loved you?"

Love takes so little effort and yet it seems that we are so much quicker to hate. It doesn't make sense. Don't let society, stereotypes, misguided ignorance or assumptions determine the love that you share. If your child is happy, loving, gracious, humble and successful, is that not something to be proud of? If their dreams are different than yours, have you not created a strong, independent individual? If your sibling's life is different from your own, hey, at least you won't have to compete over the same victories, however large or small. 

Family is crazy, family can be a mess. It can be stability. It can be our biggest frustration. It can be our peace. Regardless of what you find it to be, it's likely not "normal," it's not what we grew up believing in it to be, but it's ours and it's something to hold and to treasure, especially if it's not perfect. It's helped to influence who you are today.

Now, I am trying to keep these posts to analyzing sitcoms or plays alongside Golden Girls. However, I think Disney's Tarzan is one of THE most touching and beautiful examples of the "it's not normal, but it is ours" family structures I've yet seen produced. Likewise, my workplace has this odd family connection, where we are dysfunctional, mostly crazy, and we are certainly not without our inner conflict, but at the end of the day, we are all under the same colors and we do for each other, as we do for our own blood. Golden Girls show us that blood is not the only definition of what makes "family." That the bonds of love, friendship, loyalty, pride, and faith are what truly make us and keep us as kin. 

Until next time, Dear Readers,

Your humble author,

S. Faxon

Rose by Another Name

When preparing for the character of Rose Nylund, writer and producer Susan Harris told the then auditioning Betty White, "Rose is so naive. She's totally naive, she never gets the double meaning of anything, no sarcasm." And on the spot, Betty White created one of the most beloved and confounding characters in television history. Originally, Betty had been auditioned as the vamp Blanche Deveraux, but because Rue McLanahan knew that Blanche was the role she was born to play, the girls switched and magic was what followed. If you have seen a single episode of Golden Girls, you know that Betty hit the role of the dim-witted, innocent Rose right on the nose, and yes, at times, it did hurt a little. There were many instances where it seemed likely that Blanche, Dorothy or Sophia were about ready to murder Rose to shut her up. In one episode Sophia made an attempt with a stove-pot, but much to her disappointment, she was interrupted by Blanche.

From her rambling and confusing, "back in St. Olaf" stories to her believing that she was the daughter of Bob Hope, Rose makes for one brilliantly entertaining, odd duck character. Her childlike innocence and scattered brained tales of impossibly out-there situations may make her seem like a rather dull knife with little to contribute, but that is not the case. I will admit, though, that when I originally started drafting my ideas for this post, I felt a bit like Dorothy when she was telling her boyfriend about the lessons the girls had taught her; when she came to Rose, she concentrated intently and even gave up after a considerable span of time to move on to a different topic, but mid-sentence she realized that Rose had indeed taught her something; "A square knot."

Funny as that may be, Rose was not a mere square in the plots. Indeed, it is time that we look at Rose in a very different light than the mere comic relief in a comedy. Leaving the characters countless charities in which she was involved aside, Rose had some of the most dramatic issues that occurred within the series happen to her. In fact, sweet, innocent Rose was confronted with one of the scariest diseases of modern times: AIDs. Yes, the child-like character goes seventy-two hours with the dark shadow hanging over her. But how? Now, you may be thinking that we know generally how the HIV virus spreads, we learn that in our ninth grade science classes, but in the 1980s, there was another way the disease was spreading and it was brought up TWICE in the Golden Girls. Any ideas? If you guessed via transfusions, then you are correct. If you thought Rose Nylund was needle-sharing, then in the words of Sophia Petrillo, you botchagalloop! Go back to Golden Girls 101 and review your character notes.

That's right, transfusions. How could that be? Don't hospitals screen blood donors and test the samples before they put blood from one person into another? Well, the answer for today is yes, but the reason did not seem necessary until the AIDs pandemic that left the world in shock. For my Millennial readers and back, we may not remember the fear and the hatred, the lies and the misinformed stereotypes that spun out from the early days of AIDs. Today, we know that it is spread by unsafe sex, the exchange of blood, plasma, or other bodily fluids, and from needle sharing. But in the early 80s when AIDs was the new terror on the scene, it was known as "Gay-Related Immune Deficiency." Why? because the first several cases of patients being admitted with symptoms of HIV in the US were gay men. But scientists and the health community began to realize that this was not a disease that was limited to the gay-men community. But who were these other victims? Some were users, but quite as the years went on, quite a few were hemopheliacs, people whose lives depended on blood transfusions as well as people who needed any sort of transfusions. The main focus on television (media included) was not on those folks, save for the Golden Girls, who again, did so twice. 

In the first episode, Sophia brings a boy in a hospital a nectarine. His name is Sam. He can't be more than twelve years old and he is living in the hospital, wheel chair bound. Sophia visits with him, but the boy is sad because, "no one's ever beat it before." It's a short scene, but important. For those who were paying attention as they watched in the '80s, this little boy gave a new face to a seriously misunderstood disease. In the 1980s, the general people failed to realize the amount of AIDS patients who were children. Between the mid-80s and the early 1990s, there were almost 7,500 cases of children being diagnosed with AIDS, of them, 601 through transfusions, the rest, from their mothers (CDC). All of these victims were the silent victims, but at least the children were not the targeted victims unofficially deemed by the general public as "enemies".

Every other year or so it seems that there's a new virus that is blown-out of proportion on the media to be the next Walking Dead bringing Apocalypse. Between 2000 and 2016 alone, we've had Mad Cow, Bird Flue, Swine Flu, Ebola and the current flavor of the week is the Zika Virus. Now, this is not to downplay the serious and absolutely devastating effects these abhorrent afflictions have plagued on the human race. This is instead to point out that our focus on these diseases do not center around prevention, treatment, or information. Instead, we focus on the deaths and the carriers of the diseases. Granted, our streets are not filled with panic stricken folk running about madly, nor were there any in the '80s, but things are substantially different today than they were thirty years ago. For starters, we have far greater access to information via any electronic device we possess. This wasn't the case in the eighties. People relied on the papers and the TV to tell them what was going on. The information from doctors, scientists, researchers was not as accessible to the general public. Your average citizen was not sure what was happening, so fear, panic and stereotypes filled the voids left by the lack of information. 

With the lack of information spreading fear, stereotypes about AIDs and its victims arose like mad. There were quite a few stereotypes within the episode that the Girls addressed: Sophia doesn't want to use the same bathroom as Rose for fear of catching AIDs, which Dorothy helps her mother to debunk; Sophia labels cups with Rs to keep herself from using Rose's under the same fear of AIDs being spread via sharing dishes, which is debunked by Dorothy and Blanche. There are quite a few instances in the episode where Rose expresses her fear of becoming isolated as no one would want her around if she is diagnosed as people back then had a difficult time finding work or maintaining their jobs due to the stereotypes that existed, but solidarity and the tight bonds of their friendship help prove to Rose that no matter what, her girls would be there for her.

The producers and the writing team of Golden Girls knew that they had the attention of the globe; they had been in the top ten spot since their first year and in their 5th season, they had upheld their desire to portray real family and real people problems with humor. And with the episode "72 Hours," that's exactly what they did. They did not have the answers to the AIDs pandemic, but they knew two things: AIDs was not a "bad persons" disease and no one could get through the process, whether they be waiting to be diagnosed or pushing through, without the support of their loved ones. Unfortunately for far too many AIDs victims, they were forced to suffer and die alone. For Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia, they knew that no matter the outcome of Rose's test, she would not be alone.

Rose is eventually declared clear, but over 100,000 American people from 1981 to 1990 were not so fortunate and fell to the disease. Today, we do know more about AIDs, but still, people are being diagnosed. Approximately 40,000 were diagnosed in 2014, but this is a significant decrease from previous years We cannot let information about AIDs slip. Parents need to talk about safe sex with their children. We cannot depend on the school system to tell our children about the real dangers that are out there. Even Dorothy makes this point to her mom during the episode, after which Sophia proudly says that she has come along way from telling her daughter to not let boys touch her "you know w-h-e-r-e" (yes, she spelled out where), and proves it by giving to Dorothy a bag of condoms. That may indeed be a bit of an extreme example of talking safe sex, but it makes a good point.

TV is highly influential in our lives and the writers of Golden Girls knew this. For better or for worse, we learn a LOT from our TVs. Using innocent Rose as a banner for people who are scared and possibly very sick remains to be one of the most brilliant episodes of Golden Girls, if not television history. It showed how misinformed minds become subject so quickly to fear and to panic. Here in 2016, look at how drastic the measures were to prevent Ebola from entering our country. Look at the words used by the media about the victims. Would it not make more sense to inform and instruct people about an extremely serious disease, rather than make the suffering out to be the enemies? The next time our zombie-making disease arises, think of Rose Nylund, an adult woman who had a teddy bear named Fernando. Think about her when you hear about the victims who need love and support, not condemnation and neglect. Learn what you can about the disease itself and the preventative action that you may take. Learn from the Golden Girls, who sought nothing else than to show us how compassion and friendship can make the world, even a sick world, right.

Until next week, dear Readers, when we visit Dorothy Zbornak,

Your Humble Author,

S. Faxon

The Gems in Blanche's Crown

Hello, dear readers,

A quick, but important note: a friend and colleague's daughter endured a terrible car accident a few weeks back; she has been in and out of the hospital for almost TWO months and is now in need of a lot of help. If you can donate ANY amount to help her and her family your generosity will be much appreciated. If you are unable to donate, it costs you nothing to share the link with your friends: https://www.gofundme.com/sabrinadavis

Thank you.

Now on to our regularly scheduled program!

We are continuing on our golden brick road through the 1980s-1990s series The Golden Girls. The next four posts are going to concentrate on the girls themselves and a selection of the virtues, strengths, societal issues from yesteryear through today that they helped to portray. And today, we are going to start with Blanche.

On the surface, Blanche Elizabeth Deverau is a fun loving gal who deems herself a queen of the old South. To any outsider, and often to her friends, she is vain, she is attention hoarding and the world revolves around her. However, a dive beneath the shallow waters reveals a more complex character with deeper strengths and flaws that reveal her to be quite human. The humanization of characters may seem like an odd concept for which to aspire, but it is the flaws, the problems of our favorite TV characters that make them "real" and more like us viewers. Indeed, the Golden Girls were constrained by the twenty-eight minute air-time or so, and most of their problems were solved in that brief time frame, but the issues they touched, as we will see with our first highlighted golden girl, remain to be profound in modern times.

Throughout the twentieth century, we ladies have made tremendous leaps in the States, but the value of women as more than mere house-wives who had the right to vote was emerging as a common theme in 1980s cinema and sitcoms. The Cosby Show had Dr. Claire Huxtable. The ladies of Nine-To-Five proved to their good-for-nothing boss that karma packed one mean powerful punch. And the Golden Girls had Blanche, a vixen who had married rich, was temporarily engaged to an extremely wealthy man, was for the majority of her life a house-wife and had a governess to take care of her children. Yes, indeed, that last note is surprisingly contrary to the previous statements, but Blanche is a character full of surprises. Diving just a bit deeper we see that regardless her assertions as a meek, yet sexually free female, she has principles and stands up when her principles or loved ones are threatened.

In an episode in season one appropriately entitled, "Adult Education," Blanche is taking a few extra courses to complete a degree, which will help to have her considered for a promotion at work. This alone is something to stop, analyze, and admire. In the 1980s, the 25% of the female population 18-24 years old in the USA were enrolled at college, compared to the over 45% today (Mather and Adams). That's all well and good, but realize that the average age of college for females even to date is between 18 and 24. Blanche was in her fifties vying for a promotion by trying to earn her degree. This is a subtle detail in the episode, but incredibly inspiring. It shows that you don't have to be twenty-something to be a college student hoping to advance yourself. Hope does not have to and nor should it stop just because you've settled down with a family, or in Blanche's case, that she lived in a mostly empty nest, save for the few "coo-coos" who were her roommates. (Die-hard Golden Girls fans will likely understand that reference. If you don't get it, watch Season Seven.)

In Blanche's quest to achieve that promotion, she hits a snag. She needs to bring up her grade in Psychology - she failed her midterm and if she doesn't pass the class, she won't have the GPA to receive her degree. Trust me, if anything stands in the way between you and your degree, a piece of paper that you have put your blood, sweat, and tears into, you're going to be upset and willing to do almost anything to achieve that most desired end. So, after consulting her girls, Blanche decides to ask her professor for assistance to see what she can do to earn a better grade in the class. The professor listens to her story and unfortunately, he does have a way that will guarantee her the path to a passing grade. A path that of course excites her until she realizes that the extra-credit would involve extra-curricular activities. Blanche is prone to be drawn to those activities, in fact the words "possible-addict" come to mind, but she knows that she wants to be proud of her degree. Sleeping with the professor would forever hinder her from holding her head high whenever she looked at or thought about her degree.

After the incident Blanche consults with her girls and they all agree that she needs to report it to the administration. Alas, for Blanche the ol' song and dance that many people who blow the whistle fear; the administrator said to Blanche, "It's your word against his." Like it's not terrifying enough for victims of sexual harassment to come forward, particularly when their harassers are in positions of power, the person who was supposed to provide her help, refused to take her seriously because there was no witness and because, to quote the administrator, "A man's career [was] at stake."

Now, Blanche could easily have accepted this, she could have kneeled down to the idea that her report could ruin a man's career, but she decided to take a stand for her own rights. She buried herself in the books and even missed a Frank Sinatra concert to take her final exam. Towards the end of the episode, Blanche is the last student in the class taking the exam. The professor tells her that it is time for pencils down; when she stood up, the professor again asked her to consider his offer. But Blanche was not about to stand down after all of the work she went through. Standing proud, Blanche told the professor to kiss her "A," (her grade of course.) 

Blanche, promiscuous, fun loving Blanche, stood up for herself and for women's rights by saying, "No" to the easy route. Now, unfortunately for Blanche, she did not receive the promotion because some other woman took the low road by using her body (having a butt lift) to receive the promotion. The girls gave Blanche words of sympathy, but with the biggest smile, Blanche replied that it was alright as, "one day her but'll turn to mush, but I'll always have my degree."

If you've ever been in a situation where you had to choose, be proud of the decision you made. You know, a quote comes to mind from a marvelous book a dear friend loaned to me; "You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it however." Richard Bach, Illusions.  

Keep that quote and the brightness of this gem in Blanche's crown in your thoughts, dear Readers. Perhaps these words may prove to be an escape or a pathway to greatness for you.

Until next week when we go where few have gone before - beneath the peroxide colored hair of Rose Nylund...

Your humble author,

S. Faxon

PS - If anyone would like to sponsor my research so that I may dive deeper with the topics in terms of research and expansion, the ideas are here. The funds to support my hobby, alas, are absent. Does this sound like a project in which you'd like to invest? If so, leave a comment below. I'm listening, I have a plot outlined, and I am ready to write.

Cheesecake

Friday, January 29, 2016
Cheesecake
Quick side note: if you've been to San Diego, if you live in San Diego, you've probably heard of or been to Seaport Village. It is THE most darling part of America's Finest City and it is at risk of being torn down to make room for a mall and hotels. Now yes, I get that we need to expand the convention center, but by tearing down Sea Port village we are taking from San Diego a place where locals AND tourists enjoy peace, the best coffee in town (at the Upstart Crow), and a variety of adorable shops. Please help us preserve this piece of our town by visiting this website and sharing it with all of your friends on your Social Media: http://www.saveseaportvillage.com/take-action/. It takes two clicks to let people know that this is NOT right and it should not be allowed to happen. Write #savesaportvillage on Facebook AND Twitter with your photos of the joy Seaport Village has brought you.

Alrighty, dear readers, here's the scoop: some of the following may not be suitable for all audiences (young'ns in particular) because, to paraphrase a line from Sophia, "This ain't going to be no cakewalk." 

A few years back, one of my sisters sent me a link to an article regarding an analysis of the Mary Tyler Moore Show. The article discussed the residual impact of the sitcom on viewers and its influence on social norms. This sparked inspiration for my sister to send me the link with her simple commentary: "You could do this with the 'Golden Girls' no one knows them better than you." 

When I first started this journey I had not claimed to be the number one fan, still don't, but I have always deeply respected and admired the messages within the show and the strength of their characters. Once, I considered proposing to instruct a semester long college course on the 'Politics of Golden Girls,' so this project struck me as a positive first step toward achieving this goal. 

Whether you are interested, but not familiar with the sitcom that aired in 1984 or if the girls are dear friends, sit back, relax, and in the words of Sophia, "Fasten your seat belt slut puppy, this ain't going to be no cakewalk." (See, that's the complete quote). And that's probably not the case; the following posts will be discussing social issues that were controversial at the time of the show's running life and that remain relevant issues to-date.

A tremendous thanks goes to Victoria who introduced me to the girls. Victoria, as ever, "Thank you for being a friend." 

Chapter 1: Cheesecake

I. Widows and a Divorcee, Not Biddies 

In the first season, Rose and her boyfriend Arnie decided to go on a romantic weekend cruise. It is Rose's first intimate experience with a man since her husband Charlie's passing fifteen years earlier. She is hesitant, scared and nervous. She was concerned that she would feel like she was cheating on Charlie. To add to Rose's fears, Charlie had endured a heart attack while they were making love and passed away; you see, Rose was afraid that she might kill Arnie. 

The episode switches to a conversation with Blanche, Dorothy and Sophia. They are discussing how long they waited to be with men after their husbands passed or, in Dorothy's case, after her separation. Blanche is the most-promiscuous character - to say the absolute least - and she did not wait so much as a month after her husband George passed. This contrast brought to light the taboos that face women at that stage in life: can there be life after your husband dies? At what quality and to what extent? In the 1980s when the GGs were on air, women outlived their husbands on average by eight years. Women have historically outlived their husbands and have been stuck with the question of "what do I do now?" for centuries. Rose Nyland captured the concern best in her speech in the pilot episode: 

"It's not fair you know. We get married, we have kids. The kids leave and our husbands die. Is that some kind of a test? You don’t work that hard. You don't go through everything you go through to be left alone. We are alone, Dorothy, we really are. Our families are gone and we are alone. There are too many years left and I don't know what to do." 

The Mary Tyler Moore show had a similar theme of life after marriage, showing a woman after divorce, another taboo. But she was young and did not have an established family. These women are all over fifty and while Blanche has a different date in almost every episode, their prospects for marriage seem small. However, in their seven years of show, they more than proved their prowess, knocking the stereotype of cake-baking, sweater-knitting, t.v. zombie grandmas. These grandmas, they rock. 

The GGs did something that had never been done prior and that has not been done since; for seven years, four women in their fifties and sixties ruled the air like twenty-somethings. They set the stage for shows like Sex in the City and Mom, and they proved that actresses don't have to be shelved once they're over forty and starting to display signs of aging. Bea Arthur wore her white hair with dignity and style. Betty White displayed evident signs of aging gracefully. Rue McLanahan, the youngest at fifty-one.had more sex-appeal (even if it was self proclaimed) and as such a sex life more active than most can claim. Estelle Getty was even made to look older by wearing a wig, skin-colored makeup, and old-lady" glasses.  

Although Rose's speech about being older and alone is chilling, every episode to follow in the next seven seasons proves that these girls were anything but 'alone or inactive.' There have been many times when I've acknowledged that the lives of these gals were more active than mine!

They attended a Madonna concert, went to a nudist resort (granted, unbeknownst to them), they were on a game show, they sailed through a hurricane, traveled back in time in Brooklyn, danced the night away in an all night marathon, and, need it be said, had more dates than one can count! Now, Blanche may have been the most promiscuous one, but Sophia got all the celebrities: she had dates with Burt Renolds, Mikey Rooney, and Julio Iglesias (yes, Enrique's dad). Sophia, the character in her eighties was quite often times a grump, demonstrated the most that life is about living, especially after loss.

There's one episode, "A Nectarine" where it's a rainy day and the three younger ones are determined to be productive around the house. Alas, their ambition is thwarted by apathy and they spend the day in their pajamas. But Sophia goes to the market to buy a nectarine. At least, that's what she tells the girls. When she goes to the market, she meets a lady who is about her age and is being spoken down to by the grocer. Sophia, the champion for the under-trodden, steps up and takes a stand against the grocer, listing a myriad of organizations that she alleges represents the elderly. In a later scene she is volunteering at the hospital and an elder lady who is clearly been neglected by her family, a theme we see arise numerous times in a few episodes, including one where Sophia "kidnaps" a friend of hers from a home that is poorly funded and has less than home-happy standards.

Elder abuse and neglect  was not considered a criminal issue until the 1980s when "Surgeon General Louis Sullivan held a workshop on family violence, declaring it to be a public health and criminal justice issue that included the problems of elder abuse and neglect." (National Academies Press). In 1985, a federal task force was created to determine the extent and possible prevention of elder abuse within the United States. The task force requires, "States to have in effect a State elder abuse law with mandatory reporting provisions." (Library of Congress). This hadn't existed federally prior to the 1980s. The writers of the Golden Girls were highly attuned to the social issues of the day, and throughout the course of the show, Sophia stands as an advocate for elder rights, shedding light onto the fact that the elderly in the States are too often seen as burdens and not as loved family members with incredible insights on life, love, and days long gone. For many of her friends and the watchers, Sophia shows that you don't have to accept something that feels wrong especially because you are not alone. This is a theme that rises numerous times throughout the Golden Girls and we will continue to discuss this theme throughout the following weeks. 

Yes, these are brief overviews of deep topics and youbetcha I could ramble endlessly about each topic mentioned, but this is a blog and a mere brief escape, so I'll do my best to keep these short. Trust me, it's not easy. This whole segment is to show that the Golden Girls were more than just a mere sitcom - they were guardians in a way, proving to people in their golden years and up that they didn't have to be afraid. That if they tried hard enough or if they did not sit down and wait for death, that one thing was certain - you would find a friend and maybe even find someone with whom to share a slice of cheesecake.

Until next week dear readers when we meet the girls individually,

Your humble author,
S. Faxon

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