Seeing Seattle

In the midst of my production of the Golden Girls saga, I went out and about of my San Diego home northward bound to Seattle, Washington. My visit up north was brief, but PACKED with fun adventures and it's high time I share those adventures with you, dear readers.

 Last time I was in the North West corner was about twelve years ago (holy cow!), so I was quite excited to see Seattle once more. But I was especially excited to see my sweet aunts who live there!

Being a busy worker bee, I spent the first half of my Thursday at work before popping over to San Diego International Airport, also known as Lindbergh Field. (Side note; Charles Lindbergh's plane, the Spirit of Saint Louis was built in San Diego at Dutch Flats, an area of present day Point Loma, by Ryan Airliners. HENCE why the airport has two names,) My wait there was short and I was able to check my bag at the gate, which was a wonderful relief as I despise having to shove luggage over peoples' heads. I'm unusually paranoid that I'm going to drop my bag on someone's head. Talk about an ouch!

The flight was quick and painless. I ended up writing a fair amount of one of my books on my iPad during the voyage, so that was lovely. Felt like vacation right off the bat!

Sea-Tac was an interesting airport. I had to take a shuttle train from my terminal to the baggage claim before stumbling out into the cool and refreshing Washington air. My aunts were at the airport and ready to go! Even though there was heavy traffic leaving the airport, we were able to visit the entire way, so that made the ride go quickly by.

Mocha-Moch, my new furry friend

We enjoyed some yummy Thai food, but it took us just shy of an hour to get to their neck of the woods (literally) because of the traffic. We just laughed and visited the whole way up. My aunts are wonderfully adventurous spirits. They have been to England, Ireland, and Ecuador in the last few months alone! They just arrived that week from their latest international trip, but you would never know it from their energy! When we made it to their cute house, we fed the neighbor's chickens, (named Goldie, Opal, and Ethel), collected eggs, fed a different neighbor's cat, housed a stray kitty, who is quite friendly in the garage and turned on her heated senior citizen home, then fed their two cats and the 16 year old puppy, Sophie. They call it the coldesac farm. All the animals are very sweet and it was a lot of fun getting to help care for such a collection of furry and feathered friends.

We made plans to see the tulip fields and a few other amazing spots for the next day. 

Early the next morning, my aunt fed her "people". First, she starts with the crows and the squirrels, giving them a cup full of peanuts, which they gratefully received. After that, we fed Ms. Ellie Mae, the retired senior citizen kitty with her heated bed. She was never attracted to the idea of going inside, but she LOVED being pet. Then, we went to the chickens to let them out of their little hen house. We had to feed them in two separate piles - Opal likes to peck, I mean, pick on Goldie, so she and Ethel would eat from one pile of corn and Goldie could have her own.

The mostly golden girls

After all the furred and feathered friends were fed, we ate some yummy oats ourselves and then hopped in the car to go birding. We saw the most AMAZING things! We enjoyed the company of dozens of Russian trumpeter swans and Eagles! Real, wild, nesting BALD EAGLES!!! Now, my readers in the northern neck of the woods are probably thinking, "Meh, no big deal." But to a kid from the southern half of the states who has never seen a wild Eagle before, this was a wonderful and an incredible sight. The areas that we visited to see the birds were breathtaking even of themselves.

The only problem with birding in Washington in early March is that it is COLD! We were bundled up, but the wind coming off the water was a descent reminder that North West cold is waaaaaaaaay more piercing than South West cold.

We drove up a little ways more north and drove through the blooming tulip fields. It was spectacular. Yellow and orange, and gold flowers as far as the eyes could see!

The Russian swans were enjoying the flowers as well. If you're wondering what Russian swans were doing in Seattle, don't worry, they were here on visas...I'm just kidding. It's a part of their migration pattern to have their babies here then they eat as many potatoes as possible before making the incredible long trek back to Russia. Talk about a commute! Trumpeter Swans mate for life and travel in family units.

It was a lot of fun to hear the squawks and honks of the swans as we drove through the country roads, winding our way to the Mount Vernon area, where under the watchful gaze of a red-tulip painted tower, we had our lunch at the Calico Cafe. Oh my gosh. I will never be able to have better clam chowder than that which I enjoyed at this cafe. SO GOOD! We sipped delicious coffees and enjoyed our salads and soups. For dessert we enjoyed an excellent apple cinnamon bun.

We drove back down to our neck of the woods, watching the Canadian geese, the Russian Swans, and the tulip fields fly by. When we made it back to the house, we watched two Episodes of Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs that talk about the Maritime Museum of San Diego's ships, the one-hundred-eleven year old steam-yacht Medea and the 152 year old iron hulled barq, Star of India. We did this in preparation for our next adventure, which I'll tell you all about next time in the Weekly Read!

Until then, Dear Readers!

Your humble author,
S. Faxon

The Golden Beginning

Starting this project about the Golden Girls was as easy as breathing and has been an absolute delight to produce. Wrapping up this project has become an interesting challenge. There are countless subjects yet to be covered and with any luck someday they will arise. These last few posts were of course to provide you an escape, but also (selfishly) to see if indeed there's a full-length book to be made of this, and do you know what? There is. (Surprise, surprise.)

Research for this project has further instilled and gilded my respect and appreciation for the actresses and the production team. The lessons that they taught us of endurance, family, hardships, and the value of friendship are timeless and everlasting. They'll fortify our capacity to live and to love if we heed the lessons and apply them to our daily lives.

In their own lives, the actresses applied the lessons of strength and friendship. Estelle Getty was referred to as every "gay person's" mother, being an ENORMOUS advocate for gay rights and for AIDS research. Betty White has done more for animal rights than most could boast, let alone imagine. Bea Arthur too was active in animal rights, but she was regarded as a loving mother and a wonderful friend. And Rue McLanahan returned her gifts of performing to students throughout her life. These women are not just heroes because of the women the portrayed on television, they are heroes because they were and remain to be, some of the most wonderful contributors to society that our last century produced.

If you're interested in learning a bit more about the girls and the show, I highly recommend watching the Golden Girls Reunion documentary: 

Since the end of the documentary, we have lost Estelle, Bea, and Rue. The documentary was made shortly after Estelle's death. Sophia was regarded as everyone's favorite girl and dear Estelle, she truly was a beautiful soul. Her fellow actresses held her in the most wonderful regards and she was will be remembered not as a "mean old lady," but as Betty White said, "The only comfort at this moment is that although Estelle has moved on, Sophia will always be with us." (LA Times) I'd like to add, that so too will be Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose. The girls will live on forever. We will always hold them in our hearts, and thank them for being our friends. 

Writing about the Golden Girls in these last few weeks has been an absolute delight. It's been quite fun to blend my favorite pass times to share with you. As it turns out, and probably not surprisingly, there's still an awful lot to say. If you're interested in reading more about the Girls and how they impacted society, PLEASE let me know. There's a decent project awaiting to be written here, but I have to know that there is interest before I begin. Whether you choose to leave me a note below or if you share this blog with your friends via your social media, I will be most grateful. This truly is a treat for me to write to you, and regardless what you choose to do, of course, this is not the end. There's plenty more stories where the last few years have come from and you better believe, you'll see more words a'comin' next week!

Until next week, Dear Readers.

Your Humble Author,
S. Faxon

Endure

Words of wisdom or words of abject ridiculousness were bound to follow whenever Estelle Getty's character in The Golden Girls, Sophia Petrillo, breathed the words, "Picture it; Siciliy 1910…" Some of Sophia's stories rivaled Rose's with their nonsense and hilarity, but many of Sophia's tales did possess of a ring of wisdom to them, especially the ones we the viewers get to see her live.

Sophia's character, if you are not familiar, is that of a Sicilian immigrant who moved to Brooklyn with her mother, married another Sicilian immigrant and had two children, Dorothy and Phil. Last week we talked about her children, and there could not have been greater physical differences between Dorothy and Sophia. For starters, Estelle maybe stood 5'1, where Bea Arthur was near to six feet, so their height differences set the stage for amazing comedy. Side note, one of my favorite moments in the Girls is when Sophia goes to make one of her classic hard-punch one liners, Dorothy slaps her hand right over Sophia's mouth and to dismiss the moment says to the others, "I just love my mommy so much!" Pretty sure I cried laughing the first few times I saw that.

Anyway, there's a remarkable amount of depth to Sophia's character. Indeed, there are times when Sophia's gruff exterior make us cringe, but at the end of the day, her heart is one of gold. Sophia volunteers and does not tell her girls about the sweet, selfless acts she does in a day. She stands up for the little guys and she is motherly, in her own way, to her girls. But most importantly, Sophia's character gave voice to a generation that was disappearing in silence. A generation that was suffering with few in their corner. Society's forgotten were and are our own grand parents and great-grandparents fading in the dark, but Sophia Petrillo brought them back to our attention. In my first posting about the GGs, I talked about elder abuse, in this one, we're going to talk about the closing years in life and the healing nature of love.

There are quite a few episodes of the Girls that humbled their audiences to tears. One that especially comes to mind is about the trials of getting older. There have been countless movies and shows that demonstrate grandparents and great grandparents deteriorating from the perspective of their loved ones, but few from the perspective of the elder themselves. Perhaps it is because people are afraid of the unknown "end" and would rather write about it from a disconnected perspective of distance rather than throw themselves in those shoes. But the Golden Girls, they went there, and they went there in quite a few episodes. In the episode, "Not Another Monday", Sophia's good friend Martha and her go to the funeral of another good friend, Lydia. Martha is deeply rattled by the funeral. Her family is gone. Her best friend just died. She has arthritis, angina, pills beyond imagining, and so she decides that she doesn't want to go out in pain the way her friend had. 

Martha invites Sophia out to a lavish dinner and appears to have a new attitude on life until the following conversation, which begins with Martha saying to Sophia, "I want you to come over to my place tomorrow night."

Sophia asks, "What is it your birthday?"

"Sophia," Martha says solemnly, "There aren't going to be any more birthdays."

Eventually the conversation goes on for Martha to tell Sophia, "I want you to be there when I kill myself." 

The scene breaks with Sophia and the audience in shock. Martha tells Sophia that she wanted to decide when it was her turn to go, to which Sophia replies, "I always thought somebody named God did that." Martha continues to tell her that she doesn't want to die in pain or alone, so she wants her friend to be there to hold her hand. 

Sophia is deeply troubled by this. She understands that her friend is terrified to have seen her friend go out slowly and in pain. To be fair, we all fear that sort of demise.

Sophia keeps having nightmares of being there when her friend ends it. She consults with her girls and of course Dorothy fears for what the situation will do to her mother, but Sophia decides that she is going to be there for her friend and so she goes. Her friend gives her an amazing diamond and they begin to reflect on the good times. Martha has her pills at the ready on the table in front of her and once she realizes that she has everything prepared, she says to Sophia, "I'm so glad I don't have to go alone."

Sophia stands from the couch where they are sitting in Martha's home and says, "Do you remember how we met?"

Perking up significantly, Martha says, "Yes, about 8 years ago we shared a room in a hospital. You had the heart scare, I had the gull-bladder."

"They gave you my sponge bath by mistake."

"You ate my jello. It was a horrible little room. We couldn't wait to get out of it."

"Because we wanted to live," Sophia quickly reminds.

"Yes, I remember."

"Remember better! Remember life!" Sophia desperately pleas.

Shaking her head, Martha replies, "I don't have much of one. I'm not like you. You live with friends and family. Holidays and warmth. I hear the silence."

Sitting back on the couch with Martha, Sophia says, "We'll talk. We'll talk all the time. You can come over Thanksgiving, Christmas. Every Friday night, I may not always be there, but you can always talk to Rose."

"No, I want to go. Lydia looked so peaceful." Martha grabs her hand full of pills, but Sophia grabs them from her.

"We're not in this life for peace."

"You're crying."

"No I'm not, I don't cry!" Sophia protests.

"I can see your tears!"

"And I can see yours and you know what that tells me?" 

"What?"

"You're not as ready to die as you think you are. You still want to live, kid."

"Some kid. I don't know what to do."

"That's the point. If you're not sure, you can't change your mind tomorrow. You wanted me to be here for your death, how about letting me be here for your life?

"Like a friend?"

"Like a best friend."

This may be one of the most powerful dialogues in the entire seven years of the show. Yes, death is imminent and often times it can be premised with great pain, but it is the love of our friends and family that must keep us strong. Life is not easy and sometimes we are presented with great challenges that make us question everything, but every morning, the sun rises. Hope is reborn. We just have to hold on to those bursts of light, even on cloud stricken days. This lesson of appreciating every moment, every smile, every friend is something that Sophia teaches us in this and many other episodes. Her wisdom of strength through love is beautiful and one that we would all do well to abide. Fear of the unknown weakens us and makes us so susceptible to terrible decisions and isolation, creating an ever-downward spiral. Sophia's remedy is simple and so easy to abide; love. Open your heart to the world around you and you will find beauty, you will find reprieve and peace of mind, even if you are suffering. It is friendship and laughter that frees us from our chains. My own grandmother, Nelva Faye, was very sick towards the end of her life, but do you know what? She was surrounded by her loved ones and I remember her laughing, singing, even when in what she and we all knew to be her last few days in this plain with us. She did not die alone and she lives on through us, her family and her friends.

If you have a loved one who is getting on in years, please don't let them be forgotten. Do everything in your power to prevent that fate. They have contributed more to this world than we yet have, so let them know that they are loved and appreciated. Invite them out to tea, for wine tasting, for beach combing, whatever they or you deem worth, just don't let them fade. If you are in your later years, fill your life with laughter. Don't let yourself become isolated - go sailing, go walking, join clubs, go on cruises. There is so much life out there - live it to the last, dear readers. You only get one shot at this, so make it good. 

Many people have said that it's the things that we overcome, the mountains that we climb, that we remember most, but I want to add it's the loved ones who were with us as we met those challenges that we should hold most dearly in our hearts. This is the lesson that Sophia Petrillo teaches us. The "end" only comes if we allow ourselves to lose sight of the truly important and dear things in life: love, laughter, friendship. Surround yourself with these blessings, my dear Readers. Endure, smile, explore. Even if you are in your later years and especially if you are in a rut. You are not alone. Trust me, I know at times the road is rough, but keep Sophia's words in your heart; "We're not in it for the peace" and "keep your seat belts on, there's a lot of twists and turns." You never know what the road will bring.

Until next time dear readers when we wrap up this reading adventure with the Golden Girls.

Your humble author,

S. Faxon